My Birthday in Chicago

                                                      My Birthday in Chicago

         I realized that there must be different kinds of celebrations in the world, like weddings, new years, Christmas, religious celebrations, graduations, and Independence Day of countries, so I have been thinking about how many people like celebrations. Some people would prefer avoiding a celebration to acknowledging it. In spite of all the celebrations, I had no special interest for them but my birthday. I treasure my birthday. The change of the way I celebrate my birthday by moving from Turkey to Chicago has made my birthday feel less special for me based on not having true friends, atmosphere, and meaningful gifts.

       The first struggle I encountered was celebrating my birthday without my Turkish friends. Even though I had friends in the US, I was not able to console myself because my foreign friends and I had absolutely different values, thoughts, and understanding of friendship. For example, on my 21st birthday in Chicago, I could not have a chance to celebrate it due to the extreme snow. Therefore, I texted my all foreign friends to make a plan to celebrate my birthday after three or five days later. On the day, when we planned to celebrate my birthday, most of my friends just gave me an excuse and forced me to cancel the celebration because of the cold weather. They were so rude to me according to my thoughts, and I always believe that nothing can be an excuse for someone who has valuable place in someone’s heart. Timidly, I told my foreign friends that there are ''cub,'' ''subway'' or '' uber '' which help people for transportation. After they heard my angry and upset voice, a few of them decided to come and celebrate my birthday. Unlike my friends in Chicago, my Turkish friends never caused me to feel these kinds of feelings, which is really heartbreaking. They are closer to me than my foreign friends. I remember, when I was a fourteen-year- old girl, I went to a club to celebrate my birthday with my Turkish friends. After a few hours, our celebration ended badly because the security of the club figured out that we legally were not allowed to be in there. We were almost arrested, but none of my friends blamed to me or left me behind. Consequently, in Chicago, on my birthday, I ironically, felt lonely even though I was surrounded by people.

      Chicago’s atmosphere of January has had same features in Turkey except the lights and the snow. Apparently, In Chicago in January I would not able to mesmerize the city which seemed wearing lights as a dress and display the beauty of night.  In particular when I was far away from downtown, I had no chance to see the light around me. Specially, the ambiance of the streets like desolate place where no one wants the walk. Lack of light in 29^th of January caused me to miss my usual birthday place in Turkey, which is located in 13th floor of my favorite restaurant and absolutely offers the view of bridge covered by snow and whole city’s lights. Moreover, the lights were not an only thing. I had to overcome extreme snow too. The snow in Chicago had unexpectedly affect in my life more than I thought. It caused me to be stuck at home on my 21st birthday night. Lights and snow were a part of my birthday atmosphere, but on 21st of my birthday it snowed like a Benedict Arnold.  It could not even let me buy a birthday cake, and my feelings were dramatically defenseless and helpless because piles of snow that blocked my doorway and the freezing cold air were out of my control. That's the reason why I thought, I should have celebrated my 21st birthday under my country's sky.                                               

         Furthermore, the amount of birthday gifts have decreased by worth, at least in my eyes, from my foreign friends. Receiving a gift from them feels like losing money on the stock exchange. I have never estimated what might be inside a gift from my new friends. They probably have their own likes and ideas of thoughtfulness. Because they do not know me very well, I thought their gifts do not seem unacceptable. However, I received denture as a gift from one of my foreign friend. First I was puzzled, but then I just tried to understand the reason of this gift until I figured out that, in fact, he has not carried any moral value, and the gift which I received him was just for fun. In Turkey, I used to receive gold, clothes, travel tickets, electronic machines (phones, tablets, and headphones), music box, books and pets as gifts. Thankfully, I have received unforgettable gifts in Chicago too, but if one of my foreign friends had given me my mother's hug as a gift, I would be grateful.

     All in all, my birthday is always special for me. Even though I cannot not celebrate it in the same way as I used to do with my Turkish friends, atmosphere, and meaningful gifts, I have to get used to changes. That does not mean I will assimilate and forget my previous values. I will just show tolerance to my new life. It is difficult to let the things go like birthday celebrations. One day I may bravely accept my new birthday celebration in Chicago, but I won’t bury my Turkish one. I will not forget to keep both part of me alive.